Fifty Shades of Grey: the male perspective

So my fiance thought it would be an interesting idea to write about the Fifty Shades of Grey movie from his point of view. I thought it would be fun to get some male perspective on the site so here we have it, my fiance’s thoughts on Fifty Shades of Grey.

I’m a simple man who likes simple things…Actually I’m a pretty complicated guy who has no idea how my girl has been with me for this long. I’ve put her through many looks of “what are you talking about”, babe please be quiet I’m watching the fight, and about five Quentin Tarantino movies. So for Valentine’s Day when she said she wanted to see 50 Shades of Grey, I didn’t decline. “You know this is going to be bad don’t you?” I said. She agreed knowing after the previews that the movie wasn’t going to do the books justice. But she just had to see it. I thought maybe it could be so bad that I could laugh about it.

For those who have been living under a rock for the past couple of years, 50 shades of grey is a book about a young woman who, after interviewing a millionaire for her college roommate, ends up dating him. This is not the usual relationship though as they are involved in a Dom/Sub BDSM relationship. The book …series of books took the world by storm, I guess because of the subject matter and made many vanilla singles and couples take an interest into BDSM. Don’t know what any of these terms are? Google it, that’s what Mr. Grey told the girl to do.

With in the first 20 min. of the movie I realized about 10 things wrong with the movie. One, the main girl was plain looking. Two if I had to pick somebody in the movie it would be the receptionists. Three, she’s a horrible journalist. Four, yeah I know she’s not really a journalist but she’s doing an interview for her friend who’s sick…I can’t remember if it were for the school paper or class or whatever but her friend should not get credit for the story. Five, they are horrible at emotion. Six, he already has her hooked. Seven, did I miss something? What does he do, and are his 2/3 receptionist and himself the only ones that work there? Eight, he’s allegedly a very busy man….we’ll get to that later. Nine, Anna just let her flu ridden roommate get close to her and then take her sandwich. Ten her flu ridden roommate seems like she just magically got better in a matter of hours.

These of course were not the only things wrong with this movie. The sex scenes played like soft-core porn, but I’ve seen worse on skinnamax. The chemistry between the two main characters played more like a stalker/victim relationship in some scenes. Like seriously this dude would pop up out of nowhere like the Terminator or a killer in a slasher movie. Maybe this movie could have been better if it was a thriller because the guy would have been more believable.

I had many more issues with this movie. Not trying to body shame anyone, but while some might complain about the nudity in the movie, I’m complaining about seeing the poor girl’s ribs every time she breathed. Her roommate took her sandwich, her man took a bite of her toast, she didn’t eat whatever that soup/salsa crap was that her parents were eating..I almost thought I was watching the Hunger Games for a second.

Long story short, I could continue to rip the movie, but my girl said it was actually pretty true to the book. Which makes me wonder if the rich sadist opens up a young virgin college grad into a sexual awakening maybe is not the best thing to put on the big screen? Or is the book just that badly written.

 

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1 Comment

  1. I will be looking up those words, vanilla single? Jeff- I did not know you were a good writer as well. The content was good and humorous.

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